Our Imperfect Family

OUR IMPERFECT FAMILY - 5

The Faithfulness of God

Psalm 89:1-3 I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever; With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations. 2 For I have said, “Mercy shall be built up forever; Your faithfulness You shall establish in the very heavens.” 3 “I have made a covenant with My chosen, I have sworn to My servant David:

4 ‘Your seed I will establish forever and build up your throne to all generations.’”

Psalm 89: 30-35 “If his sons forsake My law and do not walk in My judgments, 31 If they break My statutes and do not keep My commandments, 32 Then I will punish their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes. 33 Nevertheless My lovingkindness I will not utterly take from him, nor allow My faithfulness to fail. 34 My covenant I will not break, nor alter the word that has gone out of My lips. 35 Once I have sworn by My holiness; I will not lie to David:

1.  It is possible to store up _________ for the _______ ________________.

2.  The ________ of our lives will also have a _________ effect if we let it.

Exodus 20:5 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,

Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.

Psalm 103:7 He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel.

Luke 1:50 And His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.

2 Timothy 1:5 when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.

1 Kings 11:11-12 Therefore the Lord said to Solomon, “Because you have done this, and have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to your servant. 12 Nevertheless I will not do it in your days, for the sake of your father David; I will tear it out of the hand of your son.

2 Kings19:34 ‘For I will defend this city, to save it. For My own sake and for My servant David’s sake.’”

Isaiah 55:1 “Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money, Come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price., Incline your ear, and come to Me. hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you—The sure mercies of David.

3.  Decide today what kind of legacy _______ will pass on to your family.

OUR IMPERFECT FAMILY – 4

Fight For Me

1 Corinthians 7:28 (NLT) But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.

• Good relationships are possible but not ____________________.
• Unless we are _____________________ our marriages and family relationships will deteriorate over time.

FOUR CAUSES OF CONFLICT

1.   Poor _____________________.

Psalm 141:3 (NIV) Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.

2.   Unfulfilled _________________________.

James 4:1-2 (NLT) What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?² You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.

Nehemiah 8:10 (NLT) And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

3.   Despising ___________________________.

Mark 3:25 (NKJV) And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

4.   __________ nature.

Romans 3:23 (NLT) For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

FOUR WAYS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

1.   _______ way.

2.   _______ way.

3.   _______ way.

4.   _______ way.

Matthew 6:33 (AMP) But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT) A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

• Conflict cannot continue without my ___________________.

Galatians 2:20 (NLT) My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

A PRE-FIGHT PLAN

1.   We will ______ not react.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT) And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

• Never put it ______.
• Never call ________.
• Never raise your ___________.
• Never get _____________.
• Never say “________” or “___________”.

WHY NOT?

1.   Rarely factual.

2.   You disqualify all of the good with the bad.

3.   Causes your partner to forfeit and not try.

• Never ____________.
• Never threaten _____________.

2.   We will ___________ on the _____________ things in each other.

Philippians 4:8-9 (NLT) And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ⁹ Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

3.   We __________ God’s grace.

Romans 12:19-21 (NLT) Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. ²⁰ Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” ²¹ Don’t let evil conquer you but conquer evil by doing good.

Luke 6:37-38 (NLT) “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. ³⁸ Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

4.   We’ll _____________ like God loves us.

• Love never fails, but _____________ fail to love.
• Love applied heals the ____________.

1 John 4:8-11 (MSG) My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. ^11-12 My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

“Love is to the relationship what blood is to the body.”

5.   We’re ___________________ to work things out peacefully, personally and privately.

“Peace is not absence of conflict. It is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” – Ronald Reagan

• We _________ our stuff.
• We call ____________ if tempers rise.
• We put _______ before ________ and agree to disagree.
• We’re quick to ____________.
• We’re quick to _______________ the relationship.

1 Peter 5:8 (NLT) Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

OUR IMPERFECT FAMILY – 3

Talk To Me

Four Levels of Communication:

1. ____________ communication.

2. ____________ information.

3. Deep ____________.

4. Deep ___________.

Four Barriers to Communication:

1. _______________.

2. _______________.

3. ______________.

4. _______________.

Matthew 12:34-37 (MSG) “You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.”

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” –

George Bernard Shaw

Healthy Communication

1. ____________.

• To express warm approval or affirmation of

Matthew 3:17 (NIV) And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Proverbs 25:11 (AMP) Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time.

2. ____________________.

Proverbs 18:21-22 (NLT) The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. 22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

3. ________________.

Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT) “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.

4. _____________________.

Ephesians 4:29 (NLT) Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

5. __________________.

Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

6. ______________ in love.

Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ…

John 1:14 (NKJV) And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

• Truth without grace is _______.

• Grace without truth is __________________.

• Truth and grace are ____________.

7. _______________.

Psalm 16:8-9 (NLT) I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. 9 No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety.

OUR IMPERFECT FAMILY - WEEK 2

The Bible is an almost constant stream of messed up families.

Genesis 12:1-3 NIV The LORD had said to Abram, "Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you. "I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

• Abraham had his eyes firmly fixed on God and His _________________ _______________ purpose for his family.

• The blessing God gave to Abraham was that he would bless the world around him by bringing __________ to them.

• To run well, you must have your head up and your eyes fixed in front of you. The place your eyes focus must be ________ of yourself.

• The moment you begin to look down at your feet, is the moment when you are most likely to __________.

Romans 11:17-18 NIV If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, do not consider yourself to be superior to those other branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you.

• God looks at your family and says the same thing He said to Abraham's family, "You are the family through which the __________will know it's Savior"

• The biblical concept of __________ is to be set apart for a special purpose.

• When we value our _______ and __________ above what God says, we are running while looking at our own feet.

• The woman in the parable is searching for lost things and bringing light into dark places in the same place her family lives - in her _______ .

• You are a person and a family that has an __________ _____________ purpose.

TAKE YOUR FAMILY BACK

OUR IMPERFECT FAMILY - WEEK 1

One: When it comes to family, we have no choice as to who they are going to be.

Two: No one you are related to is as smart as you are.

WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT FAMILIES:

1.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A ______________ FAMILY.

1 Kings 1:6 (NLT) Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?” Adonijah had been born next after Absalom, and he was very handsome.

• Nothing can create as much tension in your life as family disagreements.

• Nothing can bring you MORE JOY than family when it works the right way.

2.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A ______________ FAMILY STORY.

1 Kings 11:1–4, 6, 9–12 (NLT) Now King Solomon loved many foreign women. Besides Pharaoh’s daughter, he married women from Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon, and from among the Hittites.

The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, “You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.”

Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway. He had 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines. And in fact, they did turn his heart away from the LORD. In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been.

In this way, Solomon did what was evil in the LORD’s sight; he refused to follow the LORD completely, as his father, David, had done.

The LORD was very angry with Solomon, for his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. He had warned Solomon specifically about worshiping other gods, but Solomon did not listen to the LORD’s command. So now the LORD said to him, “Since you have not kept my covenant and have disobeyed my decrees, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your servants. But for the sake of your father, David, I will not do this while you are still alive I will take the kingdom away from your son.

3.  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ______________________ FAMILY.

Isaiah 61:3 (NLT) To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.

•  I’ve learned there’s a pretty big gap between the __________ and the __________…and __________ fills in the gap.